We live in a world full of distractions, stimuli and noise.
Ask yourself, when was the last time you stopped, paused, closed your eyes and listened to the world around you?
This is where some of you will drop out from reading this post.
Why?
Because I may just be getting close to the truth and you may not want to hear it.
I'm not going to pour out my story, this isn't a competition. Everyone is dealing with their own stuff and it affects each individual differently every day depending on their coping capacity on the day.
But just sometimes, we all get that desire to scream. And scream out loud.
Just to be heard.
The old saying: A problem shared is a problem halved.
And it is true. Sharing it, and speaking it can make a huge difference.
The problem comes to whom is listening....
And I mean really listening.
How many of you have started to open up to a friend, colleague or even a stranger, and before you know it they've jumped in, with all the best intentions and either by trying to make you feel better, started explaining that they have or a friend has had something similar.
Or they so desperately want to help, they suggest this or that.......
And what happens to you when this happens?
Instantly you shut down...... Am I right?
Being heard is incredibly powerful.
We need this verbal communication, spoken aloud to ourselves or with someone prepared to listen. Hearing our own words as we articulate our thoughts, begins to unravel and allow for more rational thinking.
This takes time and requires no interruptions:
Someone willing to hold the space.
Not judge.
Not fix.
Not speak.
Just to LISTEN.
We don't all have that luxury of people around us or people who know how to hold the space.
It can be awkward and people feel very uncomfortable with long silences.
But here's a news flash........This is exactly the right thing to do.
Say nothing.....
Do nothing....
Just hold the pause....
This is the precise time when people are opening up and thinking about how to articulate how they are feeling and thinking.
Let emotions flow, as long as it's safe.
Let them cry.
Do not offer a tissue, better still have these in place beforehand.
It's incredibly hard to sit and watch a loved one cry, break down and fold.
I've been there, on both sides of the room. It's shite. But it's letting go of emotions.
Freeing Trauma Energy.
See it as a privilege that they trust you to open up.
Allow rational thinking to become dominant and see the changes.
Without being heard, nothing will change. We all shut down even more and give up offering suggestions, help and advice. This isn't healthy for any of us.
Positivity is Infectious.
Saving people from incidents is still so vivid in my mind.
What sticks in my mind the most, is the quiet ones are the ones who need rescuing first.
Suffocating, bleeding out or near death.
Reality is harsh.
And don't be fooled by hard exteriors. People, especially men are good at covering up
Talk. It's healthy, we are social creatures after all.
Reach out and Speak out
We all have a gift that can be received and create positive changes.
Be there for yourself, we owe it to ourselves to be happy and healthy.
Be there for others.
This might be nothing more than a smile. Acknowledgement.
Next time you ask your mates, How are you?
Ask again and pause just that little longer.
This gift of time may be the lifeline that is needed.
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